It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
In America we eat man semen.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
