They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
