I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
