You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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