so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
