so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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