I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
