he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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