Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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