my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize