She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
