My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Do you remember whose house we're in?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
