I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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