Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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