I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
