if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
