you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
