yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize