What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
