did you get engaged???
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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