I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
