Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
