I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
