Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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