You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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