My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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