dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Its about making memories worth repressing
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
