Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There's always time for handjobs
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
