he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
