This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
