can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
