he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
