Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
