we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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