Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
