Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
