Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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