Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
