Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize