I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
