problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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