Your tits are I can't wait for
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
