just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
