Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
