hell yes lets make some ravioli
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The beer is more important than you right now.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
