It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's shark week go big or go home
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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