You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize