i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
