Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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