we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
