Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
