I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
