Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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