shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
