Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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