Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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