no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize