I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
there is puke in my bra ... again
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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