so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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