Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
then he tried to convert me to islam
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
