My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
