She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
